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Athena, holding your hair, whispering in your ear

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For me a few are enough, one is enough, none is enough. This is not for the many but for you; we are a sufficient audience for each other

In this wine-dark sea, among the waves, please find : musical rambling, occasional original content, and piles of sonnets

For advice (occult or otherwise) ask over here.
For my original writing, look here.
For personal inquiries, ask here.
 

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10/12/2014 20:01:50
hadn’t heard of this but sounds sick, thanks
I think they only printed 250 of them, so it may be hard to come by, but well worth getting your hands on if you can find it.

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10/11/2014 21:08:00

Inspired by a true story

Inspired by a true story

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10/10/2014 21:41:00

I like verisimilitude

Real-seeming-things-that-are-not-what-they-seem are possibly my favorite category of things, along with things-that-look-like-other-things, and other members of the category of illusionistic things.

Sometimes, I like to make things from scratch that are functional, but look like garbage.  I also sometimes like to take existing things, pith them, and replace their insides with better things.  If I can manage to combine those two impulses, all the better.

I spent all day scooping the insides out of a commercial product and replacing them, improving them.  I spent seven or eight hours with it, attacked it with a drill and a saw, but it looks more or less exactly the same as when I started. 

If you were a user of this item, you would not know that it was modified, unless you opened it. You might, if you were astute, notice that it performs it’s task much better than it did yesterday.  But then again, you might not.  In all likelihood no person will ever notice the changes I made to it. 

And that idea brings me a vast and ineffable joy. I have secretly remanufactured an item and made it splendid; it looks like mass-produced junk, but now it is so wholly mine that I own even the knowledge of its uniqueness.

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09/25/2014 21:27:00

These days when I try to do something nice for someone and they act like a jerk about it, it mostly either makes me mad or I just roll my eyes, because human ingratitude is bottomless and atomic self-hood is an endless furnace of misunderstandings. 

When I was younger, though, it made me actually sad, as though something in me was being rejected along with the kindness.  I felt that again today for the first time in years, and it felt sort of…  sweet?  Soft and filled with scents like laundry? I never thought I could feel so fond of sadness.

I suppose even unpleasant feelings can be missed.

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09/21/2014 15:55:00

Listening to This Mortal Coil while absently reading John Darnielle’s first novel.  Between pages, daydreaming about siegecraft and spinning myself deep into long-forgotten cockles of my mind.

This book is like a fragrance I haven’t smelled in twenty years.

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08/21/2014 16:22:00

cerasiferae said: enochian!

I will 100% lose followers over this, but a deal’s a deal. 

A lot of people get bent out of shape over the linguistic features of Enochian (goofed up phonotactics not resembling a natural language, syntax almost indistinguishable from English, etc.), but none of that actually bothers me.  All of that assumes too much for me to really get worked up about it, which is to say that assuming that a revealed angelic language would resemble a natural language is a dumb assumption at step one, and (contrarily), pointing out that it’s syntax resembles English is only meaningful if you’re emotionally invested in Enochian being a *real* angelic language.

Personally the “reality” of divine revelation is kind of irrelevant to me; it makes no difference to my praxis if Enochian *real* or a completely synthetic ritual practice.  So with that setup, the thing I hate most about Enochian is essentially aesthetic:

I think (as a purely personal aesthetic judgment) that the calls and the watchtowers are ugly, kind of turgid, and conceptually disconnected from the parts of the Western Occult tradition that excite me (the hermetic elements).  The attempt to integrate Enochian into Hermeticism fills me with the same feeling that I get from an extraneous film sequel.  Reading the various accounts of the Golden Dawn’s history and rituals, it’s clear that they made a heroic effort to integrate the Enochian system into their grand synthetic project (by cross-referencing attributions), but as I understand it they had to essentially fabricate the attributions, and it always felt to me that the fit between the two systems was uncomfortable at best.

That said, the Vision and the Voice is one of the finest works of Occult writing I’ve ever read, and Enochian Chess is a source of endles amusement, so it’s not all bad.  I should say that I absolutely mean no offense to anyone working with Enochian, my beef is purely personal and aesthetic, meaning that Enochian is not my cup of angelic tea.  I’m sure you would probably find parts of my praxis ugly and uninspiring, there’s no accounting for taste.

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08/16/2014 15:20:00

Just got my copy of Chelsea Wolfe’s new short film/extended music video in the mail.  I was initially bummed when I read that they were only doing digital distribution through itunes, but then I saw there was a USB-stick-in-the-mail option that wasn’t crazy expensive. 
I was surprised at how awesome the physical media turned out to be: it’s actually wood,* the finish is quite nice (not that you can tell from my crummy photo), and it has a sweet magnetic closure. I’ve never been tempted to reuse a transit USB drive before, but this one will likely see use.
The film was, of course, awesome (but that was no surprise).
(*it’s possible that it’s not actually wood, the workmanship is good enough that it’s hard to know for sure without taking a file to it, but there’s a bit of fine sawdust and unfinished grain on the inside, so if it’s a wood replicant, it’s close enough to pass the Voight-Kampff test)

Just got my copy of Chelsea Wolfe’s new short film/extended music video in the mail.  I was initially bummed when I read that they were only doing digital distribution through itunes, but then I saw there was a USB-stick-in-the-mail option that wasn’t crazy expensive. 

I was surprised at how awesome the physical media turned out to be: it’s actually wood,* the finish is quite nice (not that you can tell from my crummy photo), and it has a sweet magnetic closure. I’ve never been tempted to reuse a transit USB drive before, but this one will likely see use.

The film was, of course, awesome (but that was no surprise).

(*it’s possible that it’s not actually wood, the workmanship is good enough that it’s hard to know for sure without taking a file to it, but there’s a bit of fine sawdust and unfinished grain on the inside, so if it’s a wood replicant, it’s close enough to pass the Voight-Kampff test)

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08/01/2014 00:46:26

It finally happened.  You know those little packs of dessicant that are included in food and have terrifying “DO NOT EAT” type warnings on them?  You know the ones that you always look at and think “Who would even think of eating one of those, even by mistake?  It’s a white plastic packet full of chemical powder in my sack of dark-brown beef jerky?

Well dear reader, I very nearly ate one that was sandwiched between two crackers at the bottom of a box.  I had bitten down on it twice before I even realized anything was up. 

To my credit, crackers don’t normally have dessicant in them.  To my discredit, it was about twice the size of a normal packet :-/

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07/27/2014 01:44:24

Inadvertant impressionism

Inadvertant impressionism

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07/13/2014 13:29:00

So I just rigged up my server to E-mail me with info at intervals, and to notify me if it’s getting uncomfortably warm (so the drives don’t bake). Home automation through linux scripting is kind of surreal.

I should get it a twitter account so it could robo-tweet status messages for general amusement, but I’d need to re-format it a little to make its updates sound more human (to avoid getting the account suspended for being a bot). 

I’m thinking emergency messages like “I’m getting really hot, I wish you were here right now.” 

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07/10/2014 21:01:36

Just built and set up a modest home linux server for the first time; feel good about it.  Linux always gives me flashbacks to 1994, and this is the most complicated thing I’ve ever successfully done with it.

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06/16/2014 21:32:00

Is vaporwave making a comeback or something (or maybe an actual arrival)?  I read a bunch of micro-genre music-blog-bait about it 18 months or two years ago, forgot about it, and then saw three references in the last week.  Is this finally gonna be a thing? 

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06/09/2014 22:20:22

Today’s lesson in humility: titanium may have incredible tensile strength but a thin cone can still be easily dented beyond repair with the slip of a plain old household screwdriver.

I should probably just stay away from tools (hand or power) for a few days.

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06/08/2014 21:37:00

Thing I learned today (which I should have learned years ago, but you know what they say about old habits):

Don’t put a piece of work between your feet while cutting it with a hole-saw.  In fact, don’t use your feet to brace anything to which you are applying a power tool. 

Your feet are not vice-grips, they are made of skin: you’ll get some awesome bruises, even if you don’t end up cutting your feet up/off.

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05/31/2014 01:27:24

The eyes have it (and have not)

The eye is not
The envoy of the spirit;
At least not plenipotentiary,
The diplomacy of denial
And fleeting furtive azimuths,
Are what the eye brings to the table.
I can’t negotiate with eyes,
You’ll have to meet me
Halfway to my mouth.
At least (if not a deal) a sigh.

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